lørdag 21. mai 2016

Shame

Also.. All hail NRK .. I love "skam".

All good things

It's been an interesting couple of months since I last did an update here. 

People are getting fired. 
Companies are merged.
Friends are drifting. 
Friends are evolving. 
Life is dissolving at the same time.

I still worry that I will never find peace. I miss being happy. I've spent the last 3 weeks catching up with two guys, a girl and a pizza place ... I think it had such a huge influence on my life that I modeled the views of the main characters as my own.. And I... Find the attraction of a female is the same as for the characters on that show. Not likely coincidental.

I want to run. I want to push my body. I want to be a better me, not just a me.

I miss the intensity. The urgency and the love I felt. Kirei is still the first person I have said "elsker" to. I miss her. At the same time it's unhealthy.. For her and me. Being in unbalance of emotions is horrible and I've seen it break the strongest of people.

Other than that? I don't know. Life isn't what I want it to be. I betray my mouth more often than not.. It increases my negative view of myself.. So that's not good... 

And my bachelor degree is stressing me out. Mostly cause I'm thinking of changing to another job..

fredag 3. juli 2015

hver dag


Og jeg vet ikke om det noen gang kommer til å bli i orden igjen nå.
For hver dag som går blir det mer tydelig.. vondere.

Og alle spør.
Svaret er tungt.
"vet ikke.",
"har ikke snakket med.",
"har ikke sett".

Og jeg vet virkelig ikke lenger. Bare tanken på det gjør meg lei meg, jeg brukte 30min bare på å skrive denne setningen (skulle ønske jeg løy for dramatisk effekt). Ord er bare ord. som det ble sagt en gang:
What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts.


~ René